love yourself more.

Dear lihui,

I know it hurts so much. when nobody understand your pain.
People think you are so stupid, childish, emotional... Love involves all the sweetness and hurts.
The pain is not about losing someone, but let your heart taken by those who do not deserve it at all.
It is easier to say: "i am done! i quit! enough!" but it never easy to forget, you can forgive but you cannot forget.
Memories are not meant to be forget, we are not computer, a click of delete and empty trashbin doesnt happen in us. 
Ironically, we are human that couldn't stop thinking about the past. MOVE ON! never really works that way.

Last night, i saw you drink again. indeed, the wine was good, but you taste bitter...
and then you were drunk, your mind was still presence but not yourself.
You cried, sat at the pub, shared how pain you felt deep down your heart.
You do not allow yourself to show your vulnerable side to others because this is stupid.
You walked to the washroom, and started throwing out everything. that was the most suffering part, like you have nothing else left.

When you were in the mode of 'hibernate', your mind can't even think anymore; you can't even stand and walk. Just feel like sitting there forever... 
Remember all the things you had with him? 
Everything were so stupid and useless.. You felt so ridiculous, how you could do this... You laugh.
You show your love is so real and strong. I know that.

Darling.. I allow you to spoil yourself for a certain period of time.
I allow you to cry and tears like waterfall.
I allow you to drink and get drunk with your friends.
I allow you to do all the crazy things with your besties.
I allow you to miss him.
I allow you to hate him.
Thank him for messing with you.
Thank him for making you thought you're his only one.
Thank him for making you realize how dumb you were.
Thank him for everything.

Afterall, you gotta wake up and promise me to love yourself even MORE. Because I know you deserve better, so much better, beyond what you could expected.

This is the message to dear LiHui. Always love.

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