when i was away.

when you're away from home, you are able to feel something different than usual. After a week of break in penang, finally i'm home. 

when i was there, i wanted to do stupid things. the emotional was so too strong that...
you felt like dying... you don't feel like talking... you don't feel like laughing... you tried to smile but it looked damn fake... you don't feel like eating but feel like drinking... you don't really need water but you need alcohol... you feel like screaming but end up you were crying like a baby. 

many had told me the same thing again and again:
lihui, i'm worried about you.
lihui, you still young.
lihui, you deserve better, even the best.
lihui, don't become alcoholic!
lihui, pray! pray! pray!
lihui, i love you.
lihui, just cry out cuz you will feel better.
lihui, you are a damn rock chick! screw him!

but... I still thank God that... His love is unfailing...
When I have nobody... When I don't even want to talk to God, I still feel Him right beside me. I can feel Father's heartache seeing me this way. I'm able to coming back home because He brings me back, hold me strong enough and show me my dreams, my visions. My destiny that I almost forgot. The picture of Pastor Cornelio and David prophecies for me at the altar had replayed in front of me, once again.

I'm special. I was told again. 

The most important part is I was reminded once again: 
Somebody will always love you.

with love. always love. and keep loving.

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