life short. stop expect. keep loving.

Today is a sad day. sudden incident came up this morning, i was asleep and i heard my dad shouting to call help & ambulance. My mum ran to outside with dad, because my neighbour was pass out in his toilet and knocked his head. I wasn't there to witness the whole thing, according to my mum. the toilet was filled with his blood, he was lying there, his wife was shouting for help, panic & helpless. My dad was there to help her, however, one person is not strong enough to carry this uncle out from his toilet and so, he asked help from others... the reality is, human is selfish, most of my neighbours were so 'busy', pretend no one at home.. so pathetic isn't it? when the ambulance came, they can't even perform a proper CPR, they don't have proper equipment, they even asked me got torchlight or not. Don't you know we can't simple use a normal torchlight to check our own eyes? i was so angry at them, I knew it was a bad sign. One of the lifeguard annouce the time of death, we were all in shock... so sudden... so unexpected... what happened today really makes me think... what if i know how to perform CPR? the ending could be happy ending? I felt like when there's no one can help you, you must know to help yourself!

Before this incident, I've been so emotionally regarding on one thing. i was angry, disappointed, sad... i was thinking what on earth i have to treat someone who was so close to me better than myself? why did i making the same mistake like i used to be? i thought we were family? but your decision disappointed me. You know me so well since so long. no matter how big picture everyone was trying to tell me, i still don't get it. i dont care what are the reasons behind, what i felt now is you betrayed me. you told me how you feel, and i stood up for you. in the end, you choose to walk another path behind me. I've learnt one thing, do not expect something from others, no matter how close are you with them. they gonna leave you sooner or later.  

after today, i know life is really really short. we cannot do anything to turn back the time. In life, we will hurt someone, whether is intentionally or unintentionally, is your choice. I wont let myself to accept anymore crap, i will start focus on people who rather is faithful, stay with us despite of all the changes. Now, i learn that your leader can make you or break you. And i know who should i follow. Friends, never hurt the people who love you a lot, because they won't hurt you back. But they'll probably have no choice but to leave you forever. I've done that once toward someone who I always love, and now I need to do this again.

I always love no matter who you are, I guess I love with a wrong way. Sorry...