Why you shouldn't feel bad about being single?

"Why are you still single?" 
"Don't be so picky!"
"XXX not bad right? Ever consider him?"

For all the singles, do you ever felt like answering them "Why don't you mind your own business?" But deep down you asked yourself the same question too, probably more than you should.

If you are single for a while, people assume you are so picky or acting like a feminist (for female) because of your past hurt. During Valentine's Day, you feel extra emotional and bitter and refuse to go out because the streets are filled with love birds, roses and kisses. Then, you start overthinking "why are you single?", worry about you are going to live "forever alone". 

Is it because I didn't socialise enough? And why did I always seem to fall for the wrong people? I'm not attractive enough? Maybe... and more maybe...

Unintentionally, I found the smartest answer to reply that question:
"I think the most honest answer I can give you is that I have not been able to really find someone who likes me as much as I like them. it's usually one or the other, and it's just never been right."

Close friend said to me about how I have trust issue, and I simply push people away because I am afraid of being vulnerable. I realise the most important thing to live in your singleness is to know your self worth. Honestly, I know I am not the prettiest girl, but I do have the confidence to say I have positive qualities too. Our flaws made us who we are, and sometimes our imperfections will teach us to be a better person. You may be very attractive in someone's eyes because you have these unique traits that you don't like about yourself. Since we are not that bad, you ask again "why am i still single?"

Well, I can't answer you that. Maybe instead of beating yourself up and wondering what's wrong with you, maybe try and look at yourself as objectively as possible? I have been through some failure in my past relationships, heart broken and unrequited love. It was a tough process, to carry the scar and trust again. I hated myself when I had to cry over someone who doesn't love me back. The healing process was a nightmare. But I learn to stand up again. 

I read this passage and I couldn't agree more:

"It will get harder as you get older to put a smile on your face when you don't feel like smiling. You will have days where being happy for others feels forced and inauthentic. You will have days when you cry because you feel a particular loneliness at your lack of romantic love. You will have days where all you feel is tired. Please don't let days define you. You are human. You want love. And that's okay. it's okay to want that and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But regardless of what the future holds for you and your relationship status, don't be so unkind to yourself and think that you alone bear deficiencies that make you undesirable or unlovable. Maybe at this time or in your lifetime so far, chance and choice and chemistry have just not come together for you in the beautiful, spectacular way they do. maybe you honestly just haven't met someone who likes you as much as you life them. Maybe there's just nothing to overthink beyond that."

Let's try to be happy, not bitter. Try to take chances and risks and enjoy the adventures. Try to stay grounded and try to stay hopeful. Try being the you, you love, And keep trying. The relationship you have to be with everyone is with you. Loving yourself first in order to love someone :)

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